oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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