Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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