Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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