Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
