I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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