We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
please come you make the beer taste better
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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