He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
