come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize