The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
