I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
