I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize