It's Friday. Sex?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
