I've blown a few things in my day
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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