After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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