Im at strip club and am horny
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize