Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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