walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
