I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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