let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
