Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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