At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
