apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
