1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
