Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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