i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
