New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Slut skills are useful in every country.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
