please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just gift wrapped bread.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
