I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she woke up with a sticky ear
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
