I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
