I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
