I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
