I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
