Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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