If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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