I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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