Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
