I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize