But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I can feel your judgement through the phone
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
