u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
