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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.

  (641): View more from Iowa

  Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Maybe I should forgo underwear.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  This is a family BBQ no?

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• (909): View more from California

  No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'

  (1-623): View more from Arizona

  I thought I could.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.

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• (818): View more from California

  I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.

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