what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
As shirtless as possible
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
