I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I AM VODKA MAN
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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