i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
