Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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