Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
