I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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