he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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