So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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