Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
