I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
