im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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