problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
