Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
