I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
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