how can u be prego again
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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