She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
