I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
