To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
