It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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