There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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