i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
