it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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