How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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