Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
