Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
