I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
